Grace as defined by the dictionary on my mac's widget is as follows:
Wikipedia defines grace this way:
Grace is enabling power sufficient for progression. Grace divine is an indispensable gift from God for development, improvement, and character expansion. Without God's grace, there are certain limitations, weaknesses, flaws, impurities, and faults (i.e. carnality) humankind cannot overcome. Therefore, it is necessary to increase in God's grace for added perfection, completeness, and flawlessness.
More broadly, divine grace refers to God's gifts to humankind, including life, creation, and salvation. More narrowly but more commonly, grace describes the means by which humans are granted salvation (and to some, saved from original sin). Grace is of central importance in the theology of Christianity, as well as one of the most contentious issues in Christian sectarianism.
Grace is often distinguished from mercy in that mercy is seen as not receiving punishment that one deserves to receive, whereas grace is receiving a positive benefit that one does not deserve to receive. Divine Grace also can be defined as God's empowering presence in ones life enabling them to do and be what they were created to do and be.'
So, what i can ascertain from these definitions is that grace is extended to us from G-D even though we are undeserving. i guess i am to emulate this grace and through G-D's strength, extend it to my fellow human beings. You know what, i fuck up and fail at this more times than i get it right. For this i am sorry and saddened by my attitudes and actions that are not life affirming. i am grateful for the times i do get it right. i think the times i am wrong helps to keep me in a place of humility. i also struggle with the balance of being forthright in my comments and posts and speaking from a place of honesty for me without being bitchy. Oh, what a fine line it is to be a misfit toy and blog!
i started blogging before i came out as queer. It was a space for me to get back in the habit of writing again because at the time i was preparing to enter graduate school to pursue a D.Min in Emerging Church and postmodern studies. Due to my illness i had to withdraw from school but kept my blog up as a place to muse, think, and rant. i know when you write a blog that in a way it becomes part of the public domain, especially since i have the comments section enabled. My good friend, Peter Walker, recently said this about blogs:
'Meanwhile, I'd like to encourage readers and commentors (who are always welcome) to recognize the nature of most blogs: posts are not well-rounded treatises, but rather day-to-day "journaling" - at least for me and most of those blogs I frequent. You won't get a 10 page introduction, disclaimer and personal theological statement before each post, because that's not my purpose.'
This is something i resonated with after having a discouraging day of my knee-jerk reactions and un-gracefulness i extended today in response to some comments. In case you did not realize, i am a queer woman who tries, yet often fails miserably, to follow Christ in the context of Christianity. My queerness does not encompass my entire being as i have other things that encompass my life. i write and post articles pertaining to LGBTQ issues BUT also about my faith journey, Lyme Disease & health, pop culture such as films and music, travel, and whatever else comes my way i find interesting to rant about on any given day. But, no denying it, i am queer and i am tired of being beaten down by people who proclaim to know all truth about the Bible. i am not a seminarian graduate. i have come to believe what i do on this issue through private study and counsel with people in my life, like my friend who is an Episcopal priest. Do i claim to know all the answers? NO! Do i admit i could be wrong? YES! This is wear i am in my journey and it is no longer in a static place as it once was a long time ago.
Yet, some people insist i am intolerant and not really open-minded. If i were not open-minded i would not still be friends with people who disagree with me. i have religiously conservative friends who tell me they love me but do not condone my life of being queer. i don't really get that and i tell them so. We find other areas to find common ground and do agree about, including spiritual matters. This is something i said to a commenter yesterday:
'It's funny how people like yourself and others come to blogs like mine to ONLY comment on the gay posts when there are other types of posts you could comment on and maybe we would find more common ground to talk. All you seem interested in is coming and telling me how wrong i am. Do you feel the need to set me straight (no pun intended) and save me from myself? Seriously, i am just curious. God is the only one who can save and change anyone's heart including you. i am a human with flesh and never claim to have it all together. i screw up more than i get things right.'
Adam at pomomusings, and a straight ally, said something in a similar vein yesterday in his comments section that resonated with me and which i agree:
'While my post may not have allowed it to come across, I do find myself to be fairly open-minded. I have a very firm belief on this issue and know where I stand; while I acknowledge that I very well could be wrong, this is where I stand on this issue and I believe it is more important to be grace-filled, open and inclusive, than the opposite. But I still know - and am good friends with - some who completely disagree with me on this. If I were completely close-minded, I wouldn't have conversations or relationships with those people. It would be worthless. But I do - and I am open to differing opinions...just because I hope they come to have a wider vision of God's mercy doesn't mean I still can't be open to them.'
Peter posts a lot on the topic of homosexuality. He is a good friend and fellow traveler in the faith who is married and another straight ally. A comment was posted at his blog that really pissed me off and part which i do not understand:
'Why wouldnt you take on the debate from a theological persepective? IF you cant or dont want to take it on, why post about homosexuality to begin with?'
i don't get it because Peter does give a theological perspective as i have too with my posts and comments. i get so tired of people telling others what they ought to write about in their blogs and what they ought not write about. Where do these people get off? Why can't people say, 'i believe the Bible has this to say about X.' instead of saying, 'The Bible explicitly says this about X.'? Literalists accuse me of cherry picking Bible verses and contorting them to my 'perverted and sinful ways', but don't they do the same by NOT following the Bible literally in ALL the things written in it? i think it is an issue of irrationalaity. (More on this another time when i am finshed reading a book that brings this issue of irrational thinking up.)
Ok, i think i am finished musing and ranting. i'd just like to say, as Peter did, ALL LURKERS & COMMENTERS ARE WELCOME HERE at my blog, including dissenting views. Just recognize i am human, i am frail, and i will be an ass some times. If you hang arround long enough and get to know me, whether a lurker or a frequent commenter, you might even get to see the grace-ful side of me as it does exist and even shows up from time to time. You take risks to comment and i take risks to post. Life is full of risks, so why don't you come join me on this often frightening yet beautiful journey we call life. Let's agree to disagree where we are unable to find common ground, not be accusatory to one another, and find areas where we might have some common ground. Let's be grace-ful to one another, really listen to each other, and be respectful to all. Heck, we even may learn something from one another. Thanks for reading!
Existential Punk
aka
Misfit Toy
