Existential Punk

Happy 2009!

Happy New Year!

It's been one hell of a year and i hope 2009 is good to EVERYONE! Have fun and be safe!

A Significant Blog Post From 2008

Andrew Tatusko started following me on Twitter. i checked out his blog and enjoyed it. So i began following him on Twitter. He seems to be a really kind and cool guy and we share the same illness, Lyme Disease. So, when i found a post he had written at Queer Messages, my respect grew even more for this great guy! His vulnerability in sharing his journey and how he came to his conclusions make a poignant story. This is beautiful and gives me hope for people, even Rick Warren! i certainly could relate to what he said his sister went through with finding healing and peace! Thanks, Andrew!

"Why I Am Gay Friendly"

I hated gay people.

This was a sentiment often covered up by statements like, “I am being compassionate for their eternal status with God”, or “Hate the sin, love the sinner”, or “God did not create us to have sex with people of the same gender”. I was a harbinger of repentance, of purity, and of chastity for those who had succumbed to the whims of desire, a fallen culture, and the poor misguided choice of the psychologically needy to seek out someone of the same gender to fulfill their dark sexual desire. I had a very clear and indubitable assumption that a “practicing” homosexual could not receive Christ and those who believed they had, were deceiving themselves. After all did not John say, “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us”?

But these were statements to absolve me of my own guilt. The truth is that I hated gay people because they were a disease to the world and the the Church. Gay people were pedophiles, sexual addicts, and the source of the AIDS epidemic - something God must have brought upon us to make us aware…of them.

Then my sister came out and everything began to change.

As with many in my position, there was a clear period of mourning. At first it was because my unconditional love for her was in clear conflict with what I believed to be the Truth of the Bible and what God had clearly revealed to humanity regarding our behavior, and how we ought to respond to the act of salvation that Christ performed. Her lifestyle did not fit within my picture, and I had to find a way to resolve the conflict.

It took me a while to reach the point where I could even say that I still loved her, but I did not love her lifestyle and could never affirm it. Homosexuality to me was no better than an addiction. Sure addiction is a disease and no one chooses to be addicted to anything. But a choice has to be made at some point to engage in behaviors that lead to addiction. And addiction comes as a result of a lot of environmental variables that make it more likely. However, it is this very connection between addiction and homosexuality that caused me to doubt my idea of what homosexuality was for me at the time.

You see, my sister was a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. My family is loaded with people who have self-medicated in order to compensate for chemical imbalances and too much stress probably as a result of mild OCD issues and clinical anxiety. I literally watched her walk the path of self-destruction and pain as an addict. What I did not know is that her own struggles with her sexuality were participating in her sense of pain and not helping her situation at all.

Her recovery from addiction was accompanied by her coming out. Learning that these two events were irreducibly related was not easy and was very hard for me to visualize. Her own psychological well-being depended in large part on her reconciliation of her sexuality with her identity. Rather than her coming out being a sign of self-destruction, it was a sign of healing - evidence that she was OK with the world. I could either reject that evidence even though it was obvious and clear, or accept that evidence as valid and change my picture of Truth. The latter would allow me to love my sister unconditionally, the former would constrict my love for her with self-imposed conditions.

I had to reconcile my understanding of unconditional love with the conditions that lead to my sister’s own healing process from years of pain and addiction. So the question slowly moved from How can I love her and hate her sin?, to How can I love her for who she is? And it was this question that forced me to accept and radically change my world-view to see that homosexuality is not a sin, but a gift.

If God truly is love, and if my sister could find love, is not God an active participant in that love too? If my sister could receive Christ, truly and only after coming out, does that not suggest that homosexuality is not an aberration of nature, but as integral to the fabric of our world as heterosexuality? See, the evidence that the love of God can be released in the context of homosexual love, or what I now prefer to call gender-neutral love, forced me to change my ideals just as the clear evidence that evolution is real and the universe is 13.5 billion years in the making forced me to change my ideas of what Genesis really must mean.

After 10 years of struggling with the question, my sister is now entering her candidacy to be a minister of Word and Sacrament in the Episcopal Church. She asked my wife and I to participate in her exchange of vows with her partner as witnesses. My wife and I are the only ones in either family to have been there for that ceremony in Toronto. Her sexuality has been a witness to the redemptive power of God’s love, not the myth of a God who will punish persons who have sexual orientations other than heterosexual.

Not to affirm the presence of God in her relationship, is to deny the very existence of God for if God is love, God is with them and creating them to be better servants of the Kingdom now, that it may become fulfilled in our midst.

__ __ __ About The Author:

Drew Tatusko is an academic administrator and instructor at Mount Aloysius College in Cresson, PA. He has an M.Div. (1999) and a Th.M (2000) from Princeton Theological Seminary. He lives with his wife, two sons, two dogs, two cats, and the occasional foster dog in Duncansville, PA. He graduated from Westminster College (PA) with a B.A. in religion (1996). He is completing his Ph.D. in Higher Education from Seton Hall University and posts frequently to his blog Notes From Off-Center. He is currently an elder at his church, an affiliate with the PC(USA).

White Knot For Marriage Equality

Join The Impact writes about 'Visibility in the Face of Rick Warren' where they are emphasizing a peaceful way of being in solidarity for the inauguration of Barack Obama as our 44th President of the United States of America on January 20, 2009.

"Many have come to us with ideas on what to do for inauguration day in response to Rick Warren. Many want to turn their backs, boo when he speaks, or have a large march. In my opinion, though these are ideas that I would get behind in other situations, I do not think that this is the best way to respond at such an historical inauguration. If we as a community take attention away from such a historical event in a negative way, we risk alienating a great deal of those in the middle of this struggle who are just starting to understand what we are fighting for and why we deserve these rights. We DO need to stand up for our community in the face of Rick Warren, but I believe that there is a very positive way that we can do this that will send a message, spark the conversation of equality, and show Obama just how many people support our rights and DO NOT support this horrible choice. So on January 20th, we encourage all attending the inauguration, all going to inauguration viewing parties, and all who plan on watching in the privacy of their own home, to wear the White Knot for Marriage Equality. We hope to have 35% of the crowd at the inauguration sporting the White Knot OR a rainbow armband/rainbow flag, etc. Show your solidarity and visibility while allowing everyone the chance to take in this amazing event and begin to embrace change. It is this historical event, that we as a nation can share together… a common ground that everyone can find regardless of race, gender identity, sexual orientation, or class."

So, let's join in SOLIDARITY!

Brain Fog

i find daily that my cognitive abilities worsen. My word finding and short-term memory have noticeably changed for the worse as well as when i am typing i am continually inverting my letters as if i were dyslexic. It is very frustrating and demoralizing. i have a difficult time retaining what i read and doing things like my scuba diving class reading takes me like three or more hours where for the normal person two hours. When i am finished i am not even likely to be able to tell you what i just read! i feel like such a FREAK of nature! The BRAIN FOG is not physically painful to my brain but is painful to my soul, my energy, and my self-esteem.

Anti-Social Behaviour Order

Becky Garrison turned me onto this cute and hilarious blog from the UK called The Ongoing Adventures of ASBO Jesus. Watch out as you might find that you pee yourself from laughing so hard! This is what the author/illustrator says:

"i make my living out of the things i did in the margins of my school books.

i thought i’d use this space to show work that no one would be daft enough to pay for!
hope you enjoy!
jon

btw. for the non british among you… an ‘asbo’ is an ‘anti-social behaviour order’… the courts here award them to people who are deemed to be constant trouble in their neighbourhoods… presumably according to their neighbours!"

 

 

Underwater Photography

Katryna is a certified PADI Scuba Instructor and is working on perfecting her underwater Photography. i think she is quite talented but she is really critical of herself. i think where she is at she is wonderful, but like her, i want to see her grow and mature into the kind of photographer who can get published and make some money from one of her many passions! Thanks to Katryna, i got hooked on to one of her favorite underwater photographers, Tony Wu. Check out his BEAUTIFUL PHOTOS!!!!

i was ok'd by my Lyme Doctor a few months ago to get certified to scuba dive as my asthma has cleared up and i am no longer on any asthma meds nor do i have to see my asthma doctor again. It was a result of the Lyme, so i am glad one big thing out of the many is gone! So, i had been putting it off after i starte reading chapter 1 of the Padi Book in August while Katryna and i were in Key Largo for her underwater photo class with another of her favorite underwater photographers, Stephen Frink. NOW, i am back with Katryna giving me a schedule and i finished chapter 1 yesterday.Today i will work on chapter 2. Then i will have 3 chapters to go. While we are in Sacramento at the end of January i will do my pool skills at Katryna's old employer, Dolphin Scuba. Hopefully come spring we will head back down to Key Largo where i will do my checkout dives! i am REALLY EXCITED about becoming a full-fledged diver rather than a 'bubble watcher' as snorkelers are so affectionately known by scubal divers! Maybe scuba diving will be another way i can keep my sanity with my illness! i can only HOPE!

'Emergent & Beyond'

i was over at Emerging Women reading this post and i had to comment. Here is what i said:

Emergent is nothing but a white, middle class, male dominated club. There are some really great men pulling for us women and say they are supportive. But, the proof is in the pudding and i have yet to see many more women added to the conversation. We get accused of being too strong if we push our way in but then we sit and are STILL waiting for the invitations. Nothing has changed since 2005 when i was in Nashville for the emergent conference. There is very little diversity in that i see very little minorities such as Latinos, African Americans, LGBTQ, and women. i am so over trying to reach out and have pulled back a lot from emergent. i refuse to put the 'Friend of Emergent' badge on my blog.

It appears to me that emergent is a boys club that enjoys intellectual masturbation with one another. If a woman pops in now and again to join the conversation they are ok with that, but anymore than i think they feel threatened, unless you are a big wig like the lovely and enjoyable Phyllis Tickle. i do not know the way forward but am tired of trying to figure it all out.

Ok, i've ranted enough.

Happy New Year!

Warm Regards,

Existential Punk

So, today i received an email from the always delightful Becky Garrison, who sent me a link to this article at Publisher's Weekly about the term emergent and emerging church in publishing and the change within the future of publishing.

"Few publishing categories are as confusing to bookseller and customer alike as what has come to be known as the emerging church; the category has become so unwieldy that even publishers and authors have trouble grappling with it. And the problem stems almost entirely from confusing the emerging church with other nontraditional forms of Christianity.

“The term 'emerging church' is so loose that one moment you can apply it to a specific book, and the next moment, you can just as easily decide it isn't emergent at all,” says Dudley Delffs, Zondervan's v-p and publisher of trade books.

One author who has separated the emergent from the nonemergent is Tom Sine, whose InterVarsity book, The New Conspirators, released earlier this year. In it he makes a clear distinction among four streams of alternative Christianity: emerging church (emphasizing the gospel as story, community, experiential worship, the arts, and much more); missional (an outward focus on mission); mosaic (intentionally multicultural); and monastic (a radical communal lifestyle, often lived out among the poor).

What Is—and Isn't—Emergent

Many in the emerging church “conversation,” the preferred self-descriptor, distinguish among three terms: emerging church, an umbrella term for the category; emergent, referring to an unorthodox interpretation of scripture; and Emergent, shorthand for Emergent Village (EV), a largely online community. Most of the publishers PW spoke with used the terms interchangeably, as does the Christian community at large.

Other forms of alternative Christianity are often mistaken for emerging/emergent, but are not. One cause for confusion, says Al Hsu, associate editor at InterVarsity Press, is that many books that are not theologically emergent still resonate with emergent readers, such as IVP's The Circle of Seasons (Nov.), a title about the liturgical year from Presbyterian writer Kimberlee Conway Ireton.

And then there's the mistaken assumption that to be young and edgy is to be emergent. “A traditionalist in a younger body is not emergent,” Hsu says, pointing to Shane Claiborne as an author who is frequently referred to as emergent but is not. Claiborne, who with Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove coauthored Becoming the Answer to Our Prayers (IVP, Oct.), lives in an intentional community in inner-city Philadelphia.

Other well-known CBA authors often miscategorized as emergent are Zondervan's Rob Bell (Jesus Wants to Save Christians, Oct.), who eschews labels altogether; and Thomas Nelson's Erwin McManus (Wide Awake, July), pastor of a community called Mosaic, and Donald Miller, whose Blue Like Jazz became a national bestseller.

So who actually is emergent? Without question, Doug Pagitt (A Christianity Worth Believing, Jossey-Bass, June), Tony Jones (The New Christians: Dispatches from the Emergent Frontier, Jossey-Bass, Mar.), who founded EV, and increasingly less so, Brian McLaren (Finding Our Way Again, Thomas Nelson, May), who serves on EV's board but has moved beyond emergent.

Matt Baugher, v-p and publisher of spiritual growth and Christian thought at Thomas Nelson, avoids using the emergent label. “Anyone who has come out of this postmodern decade is now being thrown into that category,” he says. Zondervan does not use the term internally, while Baker Books acquisitions editor Chad Allen also resists using the label—ironic, since Baker and EV partner in publishing books under the Emersion imprint.

Delffs, who calls the term “almost meaningless,” says manuscripts for supposedly emergent books fall into two categories: those that try to proudly exist in the spotlight of emergent, and those that are “fresh, innovative, culturally engaging and not self-congratulatory. Those are more appropriate, more of what we want.”

NavPress senior editor Caleb J. Seeling also sees manuscripts from authors who are self-consciously emergent. “Usually they're just entering the conversation, struggling and trying to find freedom from the traditional church. They're just catching up,” he says. . ."

Becky is quoted in the article and i so resonated with what she said:

"Becky Garrison: Women have told me they were involved with the emerging church years ago, but left when it became clear there was no room for them at the table. Emergent Village's insistence that this is a conversation while only a few of them get to do the talking has alienated many who were initially drawn to the dialogue. There are those who feel that in order to participate, one needs to have the four “Ps”: pastor, published, Ph.D.—and don't make me explain the last 'p.' As an Episcopalian, I've been accustomed to seeing women in the pulpit since 1979—so discussions about the role of women bores me to tears. (Garrison is the author of Rising from the Ashes: Rethinking Church [Seabury, 2007], the first U.S. book about the emerging church written solely by a woman.)"

Here was my email response to Becky:

Becky,

THANKS so much for sending this to me. i have struggled for years with EV and finally just got frustrated after feeling only so welcome as a woman!

i was really frustrated at EMERGENT Nashville that the women had their own meeting, which is good, but except for Phyllis Tickle, were not very welcome into the rest of the conference as speakers/workshop leaders. Where was the integration i wondered to myself. i am tired of the men saying we are welcome and that they support us but the lack of much action pisses me off.

ALL THE BEST!

Adele aka Existential Punk

So, ANY OTHER Emerging/Emergent Church Women out there that have anything to weigh in on this debate?

Queen Of Pain

Sometimes i simply feel like the Queen of Pain. The Lyme and other toxins like to worm their way into every nook and cranny of my being, raging against me with disturbing pain. Pain makes it difficult to sleep and lack of sleep makes me very irritable, moody and depressed. i take pain/sleep meds like Neurontin and some homeopathics to help me relax and sleep. Often they do not work. Right now i have a sore throat from insomnia the past several nights. i just wish this illness would all go away and NEVER come back again. Will it ever go away? i hope so! i can totally empathize with people who are terminally ill and who have chronic pain that can't face living with it any longer. i am so fucking sick and tired of being sick and tired!

Consensus Among Pro-Life & Pro-Choice Advocates Growing

    Cristina Page reports at Huffington Post that a consensus is growing among Pro-Life and Pro-Choice advocates. i think this is a brilliant breakthrough and shows what can happen when divergent groups can find common ground and work together. Us pro-choicers have been demonized for advocating 'pro-death' abortions when in reality we desire to see abortions reduced, yet we believe a woman's body is her own to do with as she decides what is best. So, when i read her article i was greatly encouraged. Now, could the Religious Right and the LGBTQ community learn something from this and apply it to our situation? i certainly hope so! This also shows how life is not binary but a more both/and approach. Life is NOT black and white, but rather shades of grey and multifaceted.

"When it comes to the abortion conflict in the US a fascinating new consensus is emerging: the need for common ground. Americans, it seems, are weary of the acrimony, the endless fight. People want pro-choice and pro-life advocates to work together to reduce the need for abortion. Pro-choice groups have for years pushed measures designed to prevent unwanted pregnancy. They have promoted social programs that support poor pregnant women who are forced to make decisions based on economic need. They have pushed prevention over punishment, a mainstay of the traditional pro-life agenda. Surprisingly, after decades of resistance, some in the pro-life movement are stepping forward in support of these pro-choice goals, even if that means jeopardizing their standing in the established pro-life community.

According to Faith in Public Life Poll, the vast majority (83%) of voters, including white evangelicals (86%) and Catholics (81%), believe elected leaders should work together to find ways to reduce the need for abortion. Interestingly, the time may be ripe for a spirit of cooperation. Barrack Obama, with his promise of a new era of post-partisan politics, may be just the leader to promote this cause. When asked about abortion in the third debate, Obama predicted, "we can find some common ground." Indeed, the abortion conflict may emerge as an early test case of Obama's idealism, his belief that cooperation can prevail.

The key development, the one that may make common ground possible, is the emergence on the pro-life side of willing partners in this venture. In fairness, many pro-choice leaders have been cynical about the possibility of cooperating with opponents they often see as irrational and unbending. After all, their only response has been to try to outlaw abortion--a goal that has proven to have little impact on the prevalence of abortion. Ironically, it has been the pro-choice agenda that has lowered unwanted pregnancy and abortion rates worldwide. Primarily that has been through the dissemination of methods of birth control, something not a single pro-life group has supported.

Recently, several daring pro-life leaders have publicly announced a shift in their focus. Instead of seeking bans and restrictions on abortion, which have proven to have little effect on abortion rates, they are now supporting at least some of the proven effective ways to make abortion less necessary. A new breed of pro-life activist, catalyzed by this election, appears to be motivated more by results that timeworn rhetoric."