i wrote these streaming thoughts the other day in light of my recent downward spiral into deep depression and hopelessness. Thankfully my new med seems to be helping even me out a bit. i just started my 2nd week of Abilify on Wednesday. Just wanted to capture in words my feelings of what was going on inside of me. i am not out of the woods yet but am not in an scary space anymore. i am THANKFUL to not be in this space and for all my friends who reached out to me during this very dark period. i am forever grateful!
Chemical Rx
Why does it feel like my heart is breaking?
My head is racing, obsessing, culminating.
Darkness, hopelessness, desires of eternal sleep fill my senses.
Nothing anyone says or does assuages this dark shadow looming over me, overpowering me.
Is this real or am i in a nightmare? Am i destined to die young?
Or is it a fucking chemical rx in my brain?
Crying, sobbing, snot everywhere.
It's dark, rainy, windy, dreary and gray, within my soul and outside the house.
(Copyright Adele Sakler 2010, All Rights Reserved)
