Existential Punk

Starting With Our WEAKNESS. . .

My good friend Peter (www.emergingchristian.com) and i are beginning a cooperative blog series of posts writing about what it means to argue from a position of weakness. We resonated deeply with and were inspired from my dear friend, author/thinker/lecturer/philosopher, Pete Rollins:

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What we tend to do is… whenever we are in an argument I will argue from the place of strength, the strongest part of my argument, and direct is at the weakest part of your argument. And you will in turn take the strongest part of your argument and attack the weakest part of my argument. And what I really want to do is to enter into dialogs where I can talk about the weakest part of my argument and you can talk about the weakest part of your argument. and I can accept and celebrate the strongest part of your arguments and visa-versa.

Peter Rollins, from a Nick and Josh Podcast Interview

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i think Rollins hits the nail on the head. We like to hammer people with our insights, revelations, and opinions without really listening to the other person(s) even though we say we are listening. Thus, we end up being narcissistically focused on our own strengths and relish in the weaknesses of others we are in conversation/dialogue with at the moment. i agree with Peter when he says, 'This is probably less about egotism, and more about the brokenness and insecurity of most people. We protect “our weak” by overemphasizing “our strong.” And in doing so, we’re not being entirely honest, are we?' That is what narcissism is, being broken and insecure, which as imperfect human beings, is a big part of our DNA.

i am like Peter and definitely have weaknesses built into me. i tire of inauthenticity and hiding, even though at times that is easier and are masks i will put on to protect myself. Yet, because i am tired of hiding my weaknesses, i'd like to share them with you. As Peter says, 'This demands a difficult level of vulnerability and transparency. It means you’ll have an opportunity to attack where I’m least “defended.'" ' So, we have decided to take the leap and reveal and share our weaknesses with you for the sake of open dialogue/conversation.

i quote what Peter says so eloquently:

'In turn, you have strengths that may frustrate me, confound me, or directly refute something about my beliefs! But they are strengths, nonetheless. And by ignoring or underestimating them, I don’t just weaken my particular “position” (we must get beyond these adversarial identifiers) but I also underestimate and even undervalue your worth, and the complexity of your experiences that have led you to where you are.'

Over the next couple of weeks, Peter and i will be co-op blogging on our own weaknesses, on the strengths we find in opposing DIFFERING viewpoints and belief systems, and we will be reflecting on why this is such a radically different way of dialoguing!

YOU are invited to join us at either...

* www.ExistentialPunk.com OR
* www.EmergingChristian.com

Parents and the Ex-Gay Movement

Oh the damage places organizations like Exodus and Love In Action do not only to the people they are attempting to 'fix' as if they are defective, but the harm and shame they heap on the parents. It is sick and sad. Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. Here is Peterson Toscano's story:

Portia de Rossi Makes Heartfelt Apology For Marrying Ellen Degeneres

HT Towleroad for the heads up on Portia de Rossi's heartfelt apology to all those she has harmed by her marriage to Ellen Degeneres.This IS HILARIOUS!!!!!!!

Comment Of The Week

Ok, here is the comment of the week that came to Queermergent that i deleted. At first it sounds like it is a nice comment but then it turns south. These kinds of comments are just plain sickening. i just do not understand how Christians like this think they are extending the love and grace of G-D to people. It is one thing to disagree but it is defintely another thing to write something perverse like this. i am not one to judge whether they are a Christian or not as that is up to G-D, but comments like this would definitely not make me want to know G-D if i were not already a Christ-follower. What are your thoughts?

'Thank you so much for your inspirational story about how love indeed wins. I'm much like you. My relationship with my mother has been increasingly one of deep longing. She fostered that love for years, and we know that our love is of God---no matter what others say. You were brave to come out, and I hope one day I can come out in the same way. (I'm just not there yet.) You are a true inspiration to all of us LGBTQI.  Praise God and thank you. Jesus loves you.'

UN Gay Rights Declaration To Be Signed By Us, FINALLY!

FINALLY, President Obama is doing something tangible to help the LGBTQ community at large world-wide by formally endorsing 'a U.N. statement calling for the worldwide decriminalization of homosexuality, a measure that former President George W. Bush had refused to sign.' Not that i have much hope in the UN enforcing this as they are not very successful in keeping the slaughter of innocents in Africa and elsewhere from happening, but it is a step in the right direction. At least it is way more than Bush EVER did for our community!

Read the entire article at Huffington Post.

Comment Of The Week

i am going to start showcasing a comment a week or so, whenever i get mean-spirited, Un-Christ-like comments over at Queermergent. Today's comment:

'OK, so you have turned away from the path of Christianity; that’s fine.

Your belief that, “That homosexual actions are not sin in the context of a monogamous relationship.” is in direct opposition to the tenets of Christianity; you can’t believe as you do and truly be a Christian.

On the other hand, I believe that those who call themselves Christians who denounce homosexuals instead of denouncing homosexuality have also fallen from the path of the religion, since, “hate the sin, but love the sinner,” is a core tenet of their religion as well.'

Where do these people get off speaking to me this way? At least the commenter left a real web address. Again, i delete these comments, as they are not fruitful for safe and honest conversation for the LGBTQ community. i just learned the other day that the phrase, which i only ever hear in regards to homosexuality, 'Love the sinner, hate the sin', is not in the Bible, but was said by Gandhi. Who is this freaking person to judge whether i am a Christian or not. He is NOT G-D! Why don't these people mind their own P's & Q's, talk amongst themselves, and leave us queers alone? i don't come to their sites and tell them how un-Christ-like they are in their beliefs. Do these people think that their words and actions would propel people who do not know G-D to want to know G-D? It is so unloving and hurtful.

The Third Place Interview

i received the following email the other day:

Hey - so I found you off of Eugene Cho's rockin' blog and love your blog. As a young Christian thinker, one trying to find my footing between my conservative upbringing and the postmodern shifts in our culture, I'd love to set up an interview with you over on the third place. I have several dear friends who are homosexual, but none who also subscribe to my faith. So I thought, if you are willing, I could send you some questions and just engage the conversation that is on so many peoples minds (though they don't want to talk about it, at least not with people who don't agree).

The whole point to me would be to explain how we've come to where we are, how we veiw and interpret the scripture in our lives, etc. I do not want to debate, I just want honest questions with honest answers - letting disagreements exist with respect for one another and forcing the more conservatives to at least try and see things from your side, including myself. I want to understand. So, I could draft some questions and see what you think and then go from there. Let me know...

God Bless
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Kevin Davis

He sounded sincere so i agreed to do the interview. Furthering this conversation along is my desire and i feel like one of my purposes on this earth. So, THANK YOU, Kevin, for taking the risk to reach out to me and assisting to further the conversation along.  The interview is up at Kevin's blog, The Third Place, so come and join the conversation.

Are You Straight

HT Straight, Not Narrow for this video that is just poking fun at some of the silly questions straight people sometimes ask gay people. Enjoy and i hope you all get the irony of it!

SEX-CRAZED: America's Christian Subculture

i have my first published piece at The Ooze. Check it out and join the conversation! Here's a teaser:

Why does the Evangelical community seem so preoccupied with pointing out what they perceive to be the sins of others?  Why this commitment to the role of morality police, lambasting everyone with their narrow interpretations of Scripture?  It seems their selective view of holiness is far more important than how we actually treat our fellow human beings.  Maybe if we worked harder on our own lives, focused on how we are treating others, a more holistic holiness could finally exude from our lives.

Sadly, this is my thesis: Evangelicals are nothing less than sex-crazed.

READ THE REST HERE!

The Lezzys

"Beginning in 2006 TLL began to award The TLL Lesbian Blog of the Year Award. TLL has been around since 2004 and we pride ourselves on having over 250 registered authors and over 800 posts that contain the stories of our lives. In 2009 TLL will add more categories and a new and improved nomination and voting system. The new TLL Awards will be renamed The Lezzys."

Please NOMINATE Existential Punk for the Lezzy Awards in the following categories:
1. Culture/Entertainment
2.Feminism/Political
3. Personal
4. Blog of the Year

YOU CAN NOMINATE AND VOTE ONCE PER DAY EVERYDAY UNTIL NOMINATING AND VOTING CLOSES! SO NOMINATE AND VOTE FOR EXISTENTIAL PUNK!

THANK YOU!

2009 Lezzys Time Line

Nominations: Monday February 2nd from 9:00 am EDT through 11:00 pm EDT on the 9th
Voting: Wednesday February 11th 9:00 am EDT through 11:00 pm EDT through the 18th
Winners Announced: Monday February the 23rd at 9:00 am

The Lezzy Rules

• The nominated blogs must be written by a lesbian or contributed to by a lesbian.
• The nominated blogs must be current and new content must be continually published.
• A blog may be nominated, and may win in more than one of the 9 categories.
• Blogs that have won in previous years may win again.
• Vote totals are subject to periodic correction for identified cheating.
• In the event of identified cheating, the decisions of  TLL’s Managing Editor as to the manner of correction is final.
• Everyone will be allowed to make 1 nomination in each of the 9 categories within a revolving 24 hour period. Everyone will be allowed 1 vote per category within a revolving 24 hour period. We will be tracking the nominations and votes via email addresses.
• Using throw-away email services is prohibited. The nominations and voting submissions will be reviewed for these sort of emails.
• TLL’s Managing Editor has the right to disqualify a blog from any category if said blog blatantly does not fit into said category.

How the nominations work: The nomination system will allow you to nominate 1 blog per category. You will be able to nominate your favorite blogs once every 24 hours. You will nominate the blogs of your choice by adding the URL of the blog to the nomination field. Nominations will last from February 2-9 and will be tallied on February 10th. The top 3 nominated blogs will then go on to the final voting round.

How voting works: As with nominations you will be allowed 1 vote per category within a 24 hour period. This is being tracked by email accounts so that more than one person can vote from the same computer/IP address. Voting will go from February 11-18. Votes will be tallied and the winners of all 9 categories will be announced on Monday February 23rd.

(I Can’t stress the following enough. Many nominations are currently not being counted due to lack of email confirmation) IMPORTANT: A confirmation email will be sent to the email address you provided for the nominations and voting form. Please make sure to click the link in the confirmation email to make sure your submissions count. If you do not receive a confirmation email please check your email filters and spam folder. The email will be sent from awards @ thelesbianlifestyle.com

If you have any questions or have any concerns with the nomination or voting system please contact TLL’s Managing Editor