To the LGBTQ Community,
I know I don't speak for all
evangelicals when I write this, but I hope I speak for more than you
might think, as I offer this sincere apology on behalf of myself and my
community.
I'm sorry for not speaking up when people taunted you and made obscene jokes about you in school and at work.
I'm sorry that I have tolerated stereotypes and generalities.
I'm sorry that I did not protest when my church put signs in its yard in support of anti-gay legislation.
I'm
sorry that I did not stand with you when my town's leaders passed a
resolution to try and ban you from living in our community.
I'm
sorry that evangelicals have made church an unsafe place for you, that
we have stigmatized that which we do not understand, that we have
inadvertently forced so many young people to keep secrets about their
sexuality, and that we have made the Christian subculture the worst one
in which to come out.
I'm sorry for our hypocrisy. I'm sorry
that we say gay marriage is the biggest threat to the sanctity of an
institution we ourselves do not honor half of the time. I'm sorry that
we've spent millions of dollars trying to restrict your civil liberties
when that money could have been used for better things. I'm sorry that
we don't focus on our own families first.
I'm sorry that we
leave you with no good options. I'm sorry for criticizing you for being
promiscuous, but then denying you the opportunity to form committed,
monogamous relationships. I'm sorry that we act like celibacy would be
easy, as if you do not desire companionship and intimacy as much as we
do.
I'm sorry that we talk about you more than we listen to you.
I'm sorry that we form opinions about things we don't understand. I'm
sorry that we think we can write a prescription to make you just like
us.
I'm sorry that we treat your sexuality as a disease and that
we offer dangerous "cures," like encouraging you to marry someone of
the opposite sex. I'm sorry that these tactics often result in nothing
but shame and secrets and more broken families.
I'm sorry that we have used the Bible as a weapon.
I'm sorry that we have used religion to shame.
I'm sorry that we have assumed we speak for God.
Most
of all, I am sorry that we haven't been Jesus to you. Jesus, who
associated with the marginalized of his society—women, Samaritans, tax
collectors, and prostitutes—Jesus, who forgave when others wanted to
stone, who gave freely when others wanted to charge, who welcomed when
others wanted to shun. I'm sorry that we call ourselves Christians, or
"little Christs," when we look nothing like our Lord.
I know
that this letter does not excuse me from the mistakes of my past, and I
know it does not represent the position of many in my community. But I
hope you see it as at least one hand reaching out. I am hopeful that
there will be more, and that one day we will worship together in spirit
and in truth without hate or shame.
May God bless you all richly.
- Rachel
Rachel
Held Evans lives in Dayton, Tennessee (where public officially really
did try to ban gays and lesbians from living in the community, although
the measure was eventually overturned after public outcry). Rachel
blogs at www.rachelheldevans.com.
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