Existential Punk

White Knot For Marriage Equality

Join The Impact writes about 'Visibility in the Face of Rick Warren' where they are emphasizing a peaceful way of being in solidarity for the inauguration of Barack Obama as our 44th President of the United States of America on January 20, 2009.

"Many have come to us with ideas on what to do for inauguration day in response to Rick Warren. Many want to turn their backs, boo when he speaks, or have a large march. In my opinion, though these are ideas that I would get behind in other situations, I do not think that this is the best way to respond at such an historical inauguration. If we as a community take attention away from such a historical event in a negative way, we risk alienating a great deal of those in the middle of this struggle who are just starting to understand what we are fighting for and why we deserve these rights. We DO need to stand up for our community in the face of Rick Warren, but I believe that there is a very positive way that we can do this that will send a message, spark the conversation of equality, and show Obama just how many people support our rights and DO NOT support this horrible choice. So on January 20th, we encourage all attending the inauguration, all going to inauguration viewing parties, and all who plan on watching in the privacy of their own home, to wear the White Knot for Marriage Equality. We hope to have 35% of the crowd at the inauguration sporting the White Knot OR a rainbow armband/rainbow flag, etc. Show your solidarity and visibility while allowing everyone the chance to take in this amazing event and begin to embrace change. It is this historical event, that we as a nation can share together… a common ground that everyone can find regardless of race, gender identity, sexual orientation, or class."

So, let's join in SOLIDARITY!

Serbian Gays Plead For Protection

 Thanks to fellow blogger, Andy, at UK Gay News, for reporting on this horrific story out of Serbia. i met Andy at the LGBTQ Blogger Summit in D.C. earlier this month. When i read this disturbing story it sickened me, especially since i have spent time in Belgrade, Serbia. i was not out then, but i found the people to be lovely, helpful, and extremely friendly. So this news just blew me away. This is why the UN Signatories decriminalizing homosexuality is so very important.Homophobia and bigotry of any kind must NOT be tolerated ANYWHERE!

BELGRADE, December 25, 2008  –  Please protect us.  That is the plea tonight from gays and lesbian in Serbia to their government, the police and the wider world this holiday season.

The staff and contributors of the Serbian gay and lesbian website Querria Centre, are constantly receiving death threats and threats of physical violence, it emerged this evening.

“Every day threats are being sent to the website’s official email address to the effect that the website is going to be hacked, that we are sick people who should be treated, that all of us (LGBT population) should be killed,” said Predrag Azdejković, the editor of Queeria and one of the main targets.

“Such threats are also posted among the comments made on the website.”

Two anti-Queeria groups have been formed on the Facebook website. One is called “Queeria, Pederi Marš iz Srbije” (Queeria, queers get out of Serbia) and has 406 members – it was created a month ago by Darko Ilic. (see screenshot below)

The other group is “СТОП ПЕДЕРИМА - КВИРИЈИ!” (Stop queers – Queeria) with 2,554 members and was created by Ivan Ivanovic.

Both are “open groups”.

Members of both groups are publicly advocating death threats to the activists at Queeria, whose photographs, Queeria say, are circulating among the members of both groups.

Additionally, the groups are advocating breaking and entering the Queeria Centre premises, as well as the homes of gay activists.

The groups suggest violence against all gays and lesbians population.

Read the rest of the story here.

"No More, No Less: Stop The Competition"

At the recent LGBTQ blogger summit i attended in D.C. the topic of equating the LGBTQ equality fight with the Civil Rights movement of the African American community came up in a panel discussion on Prop 8. i have been one equating it but started to question myself after an African American person brought up that it really is not similar. So, today i read this thought-provoking article on a blog of a person i met at the summit. He is from North Carolina and has a heart of gold. i think he makes valid points and is balanced in his view of the situation. i personally have experienced homophobia and rejection from people who don't like gays or think i am going to burn in hell. It hurts and cuts deep.

HT and thanks to Matt Comer for his provocative post on African American & LGBTQ competition:

It seems as though, after Prop. 8, there’s been a whole lot of conversation on the intersections between race and sexuality.

I wonder if we’ve learned anything. Or, maybe we’ve all be foaming at the mouth with absolutely zero listening capacity.

In a recent Bilerico post, “No on ‘Gay is Black,’” I wasn’t surprised to see the conversation very quickly turn into a competition of which group has suffered the most. It’s as if civil rights should be doled out on the basis of the pain inflicted rather than on the basis of what is actually right and wrong inside the legal and moral framework of our Constitution and national ideals.

Addressing activist Lane Hudson’s assertion that the Civil Rights Act of 1964 should be amended to include LGBT people, former Washington Blade editor Chris Crain wrote, “The fact is that the significance of such legislation would be largely symbolic. No one is marching in the street because we’re refused rooms at hotels, service in restaurants and lunch counters or seats at the front of the bus. Has anyone ever seen a “queer-only” water fountain?”

In a late-November post here in response to Crain, I wrote:

There might not be “queers-only” water fountains, and city governments might not be spraying my children down with firehouses, and my ancestors might not have been slaves, but that doesn’t mean the discrimination I face is any less unequal and un-American.

There are straights-only jobs. There are straights-only homes and hotels. There have been attempts to create straights-only counties. There are straights-only schools. There are straights-only youth services. There is a straights-only military, and a straights-only, government-sponsored institution of marriage.

The title of the post was “My suffering no more, no less - just different.”

Since Prop. 8, I would have hoped our community had seen the light: We must, like really, really MUST, reach out to communities of color. And, I’m not just talking about the ones who don’t like us. I’m talking about ALL communities of color, especially those inside our own LGBT community.

In fact, we should be reaching out inside our community before any movement for outreach in straight communities of color. Remember: “If you can’t keep your house clean, you certainly can’t be the one to clean up anybody else’s.”

I don’t like the arguments based on who has suffered most, or who has faced more bigotry. We’ve all faced it, to some extent. Some of us have experienced more and some of us less, but the pain and hurt, along with the real world complications, caused by discrimination and prejudice affect us all equally. You can’t put a measure on human pain and heartbreak.

I’ll admit history holds truly different and unique stories for the African-American and LGBT communities. That’s a fact we all have to face. But, at the same time, I know that while I haven’t been lynched, I’ve experienced more pain than any American should ever have to experience.

I think we have to start realizing that our pain as LGBT people and the past and current experiences of people of color are all tied to the same source.

Charles Merrill stated in the “No on ‘Gay is the New Black’” post:

The oppression of all three groups Jews, African American and LGBT’s stem from the same source, passages in the Old and New Testament of the Bible.

I blame main stream religious denominations for not speaking out against other Christian denominations. Faith is considered “private” and not a topic for dialogue. This is how the extremists gain control.

Even when it is discussed, it is one passage against the other passage. Not a free thinking dialogue pertaining to modern society and scientific findings.

Would history have treated African-Americans any better in the absence of “religious” support for their bondage? I don’t know, but it might have. And I’m more than certain that LGBT kids wouldn’t be killing themselves if radical fundamentalists didn’t demonize them, turning them into walking zombies who think, at ages as young as 11 or 12, that life and love are meaningless and worthless.

Our oppression stems from the same source. Why does it seem we’re fighting among each other for the “We’ve had it worst” trophy, instead of working together to grant equality for all?

If the LGBT community - including our own communities of color - want to succeed in our movement for life, liberty and happiness, we’ll have to start treating each other a whole hell of a lot better. I mean, if we can treat each other like shit, why can’t the fundamentalists, right?

It’s time to stop the competition. There is no trophy to be gained. No one has to be “first in line.” We can work together and accomplish equality for all. Just imagine what kind of coalitions we can build. Just imagine.

Is Controlling Anti-LGBTQ Sentiment One Of Our Primary Jobs?

As a Christian queer woman i often find myself angry and frustrated with the Religious Right and their often vile reactions to the LGBTQ community. i write here often that we must agree to disagree with regard to LGBTQ issues and the Religious Right. The same circular arguments take place with a Stepford Wife-like mantra and no real conversations take place where we really listen to one another. i believe those who are on the fence, who are open to learning about our community or are open-minded enough to say they might be wrong, are those who we can have REAL conversations with. It is with these people, i believe, that we can effect change in mindsets and opinions. We do need to get thicker skins and realize we do not have to have everyone love us. We just want to be treated equal under what the Constitution affords ALL CITIZENS AND HUMAN BEINGS OF THE USA and that INCLUDES EQUALITY!

HT and thanks to Autumn Sandeen at Pam's House Blend for this informative piece:

"When discussing civil rights for LGBT people, I'm more than occasionally found referencing Bayard Rustin's take on what "our job" is as LGBT people and/or civil rights activists:

 "[T]he job of the gay community is not to deal with extremists who would castigate us or put us on an island and drop an H-bomb on us. The fact of the matter is that there is a small percentage of people in America who understand the true nature of the homosexual community. There is another small percentage who will never understand us. Our job is not to get those people who dislike us to love us. Nor was our aim in the civil rights movement to get prejudiced white people to love us. Our aim was to try to create the kind of America, legislatively, morally, and psychologically, such that even though some whites continued to hate us, they could not openly manifest that hate. That's our job today: to control the extent to which people can publicly manifest antigay sentiment."
--Bayard Rustin; From Montgomery to Stonewall (1986)

In other words, for those of us who define ourselves as LGBT people and/or civil rights activists, our job in large part not to change the minds of people such as James Dobson (Focus On The Family), Donald E. Wildmon (American Family Association) or even Peter LaBarbera (Americans For Truth About Homosexuality) regarding LGBT people. It is instead to make sure that those who express anti-LGBT sentiments in public feel a sorrow-for-getting-caught expressing their homophobic and/or transphobic feelings, or an unwanted price for expressing those feelings.

At least, that's how Bayard Rustin seemed to be describing "our job."

The grassroots LGBT Civil Rights movement seems to instictively do just that regarding perceived anti-LGBT sentiments. Look at what happened to Tim Hardaway a couple of years ago, and more recently to the Manhunt Chairman, the non-profit theater director from Sacramento, the L.A. Film Festival director from Los Angeles, and now the recent news of how the manager of the El Coyote restaurant has resigned -- sentiment perceived to be anti-LGBT has been getting harder and harder to publicly express without significant consequence.

This quote seems an interesting quote by an African American and gay civil rights leader on one of the goals of civil rights movements -- I know it's a thought I more than occasionally push into the marketplace of LGBT, civil rights ideas.

So, do you think controlling anti-LGBT sentiment is one of our primary jobs as LGBT people and/or civil rights activists? Do you think that the ways by which it's being done by LGBT people now is what Bayard Rustin had in mind?"

Separate But Equal

HT Rob Tornoe:

 

Thank God a New Jersey 13-member Civil Union Review Commission convened by the New Jersey
legislature tasked with "evaluating the implementation, operation and effectiveness" of the civil union law passed nearly two years ago released its final report on Wednesday.  Their common sense allowed them to unanimously recommended that "The Legislature and Governor amend the law to allow same-sex couples to marry.

i wish the Religious Right would get off of their high horse and realize that our government has SEPARATION OF CHURCH & STATE and THE USA IS NOT A THEOCRACY! So we disagree about Biblical interpretation, at the end of the day, the Bible does not make the laws for our country. We are ALL created equal under the law. If they want to live under a theocracy, then maybe they should move to Saudi Arabia and give that a try before trying to impose their interpretation of morality on us. Not everyone in this country is a Christian and they should not have ANY religion imposed on them. Also, the Mormons really had no business getting involved in Passing Prop 8 given their past practice of polygamy. Even fringe groups of Mormons STILL practice polygamy! What fucking hypocrites!

i think the Religious Right ought to start looking into their own hearts and figuring out why there is so much divorce and spusal abuse before lokking into the bedrooms of those they disagree with so vehemently. Something like look at the plank in your own eye before looking at the speck in someone else's eye.

LGBTQ Blogger Initiative Saturday 6 December 2008, Part I

Saturday morning for our first session of the LGBTQ Blogger Summit i was more rested and more outgoing. We introduced ourselves and mingled. One of my new friends, Kevin Barry, pictured with me in this photo at the Victory Fund Luncheon, reached out and we fast became friends. He lives in Los Angeles, so when Katryna and i move back to CA, we will definitely get reconnected.

The morning sessions included a talk by Matt Stoller from OpenLeft.com, where he talked about how niche blogging communities can move their messages into the larger online community.

Next we had a panel and audience discussion on the role of bloggers in political education and action. Panel participants included leaders from the California and Florida ballot initiatives. It became a very empassioned discussion with several divergent viewpoints. Things from how the campaigns, especially CA Prop 8 passed, to how we move forward to invoking African Americans and civil rights to religion to grassroots organiztion were all covered. We ran out of time and came away with wanting to discuss this further.

The highlight of the day for me was the luncheon we were invited to attend  sponsored by The Victory Fund at the Mayflower Hotel (famous because former NY Gov. Elliot Spitzer met his prostitute here for secret rendevouzs) for the International Gay and Lesbian Leadership Conference. The reason it was big deal for me was that Massachusetts Representative and LGBTQ advocate Barney Frank was the keynote speaker. He was charming as ever and i even got to meet him briefly before the luncheon began. Here is what he said (From GayPolitics.com):

“Don’t accept the argument that somehow we’re a political problem,” Rep. Barney Frank said.

Frank expressed optimism for the future of the LGBT movement during his luncheon remarks, claiming that the 2006 and 2008 election results have disproven the idea that supporting equality is a political liability. This reverses the trend from 2002 and 2004 when gays were used as a “political weapon.”

“No one can tell us ‘hold back, you’re a problem,’” he remarked.

Furthermore, he said, the new Congress will likely pass a fully inclusive hate crimes bill “early on.” Frank also indicated that he has hopes for the passage of a fully inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act.

He even predicted full equality in less than 20 years, dismissing the idea that the goal is unattainable.

“I would make it a misdemeanor to use the words pragmatic and idealistic as if they were opposites.”

According to Frank, the movement has reached a cultural turning point. As more and more people live openly as LGBT, the time has come to ask more of the community’s allies.

“Loving us is incompatible with voting for those who hate us,” he said. “We are no longer a group on the outside trying to persuade people to be supportive.”

Photo by: Wai Ki Ricky Leung

Now This Makes Sense!

Over at Eugene Cho's blog, beauty and depravity, there's a discussion going on the subject of 'church, gay marriage, and prop 8'. It was prompted by the above sign. Most of the arguments going on about same-sex marriage, prop 8 and the church, like here, here, here, and here. Some discussions are adult and respectful, while most are not. The arguments on both sides become circular, repeating the same mantras over and over. The Religious Right responders have all their ducks in a row and all the answers to God, the Bible and how to run everybody else's lives all nailed down. i am so sick of it all. Most people are spewing their beliefs without REALLY reading carefully and listening to other people. It reminds me of the abortion debate, which i will not address here. So, where are we to go to move on in this debate on same-sex marriage? i am so over religious fundamentalism and tired of being rejected by people for who and what i am. At the post over at Eugene Cho's blog, the last comment posted just hit me with a wave of encouragement. It was from someone who IS a PASTOR who happens to be an ally to the LGBTQ community. i could identify with the ostracism he experiences from Christians who disagree with him on this issue. Maybe he is onto something with how to move forward. Here's what this compassionate man and pastor had to say:

"just found this discussion, and feel that it is a worthwhile “debate”… As a pastor in Christ’s church, I do NOT believe that we all interpret the scriptures the same way. I, for one, believe that the Bible is silent on the issue of homosexuality as we know it today. I have done extensive study and believe that those who interpret these few scriptures literally are wrong. Biblical literalists will obviously think that I am wrong. We could sit around all day and argue about who is more wrong, but I don’t find that helpful. Given that we have disagreements, how do we continue to be in community when I am ostracized by some, and shunned/shamed by others? I am more than willing to engage in mission and ministry with all other followers of Christ, but I don’t often find the same is true for those who disagree with me. The onus, therefore, falls on the conservative folks in this debate to come to the LGBT community and their allies (of which I am one) and meet us on our terms. It has not been safe or helpful for us to come to you."

"Scream Bloody Murder"

This Thursday, December 4, 2008, at 9 p.m. EST, CNN presents the documentary "Scream Bloody Murder", reported by Christiane Amanpour. She "reports on the genocide of the 20th and 21st centuries, ranging from Armenia in the early 20th century to the Holocaust to present-day Darfur, plus Bosnia, Cambodia, Iraq and Rwanda." (Comcast Cable menu description) PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT THIS IMPORTANT DOCUMENTARY!

Prop 8 - The Musical

HT Huffington Post for this HILARIOUS story:

"The hilarious people at "Funny of Die" have put out a new video, "Prop 8 - The Musical." The star-studded participants include Jack Black, Neil Patrick Harris, Margaret Cho, John C. Reilly, Maya Rudolph and many more familiar faces."

WATCH:

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

"I Love Abortion Part Deux"

i had several posts on my "I Love Abortion" post from adamant hard-line pro-lifers. i find it to be a circular argument that is so polarizing, divisive, and really gets us nowhere. But, then i came across my friend's post that i linked to that i felt enlightened the debate and brought another angle in which to view the issue. Yet, these pro-lifers seemed to miss the forest for the trees and spoke the same tired responses from over the years. The same arguments without thinking about or considering the new view. Peter's view that i was trying to convey was not even shot down. IT WAS IGNORED ALTOGETHER! i don't have much patience for that! One of the commenters even left a link to a horrible abortion video that i quickly removed. i told the person to never post something like that again or i would ban them.

A few days ago i found and read this heart-breaking story of a Serbian woman who was raped everyday for a year during the Serbian War. So i wondered then, "Would some of the people who commented on my abortion post REALLY want to force this poor woman who was tortured and raped everyday for a year to have the baby that was the product of rape? Are they really THAT fanatical? If so, that blows me away." She did not want the child even though she knew the risks involved. We have not walked in her shoes and to tell her "abortion is murder" after the ordeal she has been through is heartless in my opinion. If you would tell this woman or another like her that abortion is murder, i find you to have more balls than me and one heartless human being.

Here is part of her story in her own words:

"Every day we were raped. Not only in the house -- they would also take us to the front line for the soldiers to torture us. Then again in the house, in front of the children," Jasmina said through a translator, remembering the 10 other women who were brutalized with her.

"I was in such a bad condition that sometimes I couldn't even recognize my own children. Even though I was in a very bad physical condition they had no mercy at all. They raped me every day. They took me to the soldiers and back to that house.

"The only conversation we had was when I was begging them to kill me. That's when they laughed. Their response was 'we don't need you dead.' "

Once at the front line, there were female soldiers who tortured her with a bottle and then slashed at her throat and wrist when it broke. Then the troops cut one of her breasts with a bayonet, said Jasmina, now looking older than her 35 years.

"It lasted for a year. Every day. ... Not all the women survived." . . .

Jasmina was safe but scarred. "I felt ashamed. I wanted to die, to disappear somehow. I couldn't take care of my children; others did that. I just didn't have the strength or the will."

A new low came when doctors began to treat her in one of the refugee centers around the city of Tuzla.

"They discovered that I was pregnant, six months pregnant, and I didn't know that. It was too late for any abortion, but I kept saying I didn't want that child."

The gynecologist pleaded with Jasmina to have the child and give it up for adoption, saying it was too dangerous to try anything else. But that was no option for Jasmina. "I didn't want to hear about that, about giving birth to that child at all."