Existential Punk

Cross Over The Bridge

Thankfully i am no longer in a hopeless place nor feeling suicidal. My new med is working so far minus a little bit of lingering depression. i was inspired to face my demon of wanting to commit suicide and show that i can overcome! Suicide is not the answer. Choosing life is the answer i am fighting for as i battle this 'demon' of depression. ( i don't believe in literal demons, but metaphorical ones!)

Cross Over The Bridge

by Adele Sakler

Sometimes suicide seems like the only option

until one realizes it's so defeating and final.

cross over the bridge and

in your tracks

drop the fantasy of

everlasting peace.

Copyright 2010. All Rights Reserved.

Adele & Peter: Queer & Christian: Conversation 7

Peter says, 'Here, Adele shares more of her painful experiences with ex-gay ministries, how she attended Pat Robertson's Regent University (TRULY!), and how these experiences nearly led her to suicide...'

In the next segment, i ask PETER a few questions! So, STAY TUNED! Adele

RIP Gideon Addington

About a half hour ago i received an email from Emergent Village about the suicide last Friday Saturday of fellow Tweep Gideon Addington aka @gideony. i spoke with him a little bit on Twitter, but really did not know him all that well. What i do know about him was that he was an inspiration to many who knew him. About a month ago, he wrote a prayer and it shows he was really struggling and in a lot of pain. i don't know the details of why he was in so much pain but where i am now in my life i can certainly relate to his anguish. i don't know if Gideon lived alone or with people. i don't know if Gideon reached out to his friends that he might have been suicidal. i have been suicidal in my past and my attempt at taking my life was a cry for help. Was his prayer a cry for help or did he just despair too terribly much that he didn't give a fucking rat's ass anymore. Gideon, i am saddened by your loss and that i didn't get to know you better. i hope you have found the peace you never found while you roamed this earth. i am reeling from this news so i can only imagine what those who knew Gideon better are going through and experiencing. G-D, please help family and friends of Gideon in their time of mourning. G-D have mercy on us all.

Here is Gideon's telling prayer and i echo it tonight G-D:

Lord, deliver me from my despair.

Give me strength that I might continue to fight.

I am tired, I am lonely and I feel I am alone among the mad.

I know I am not alone but my heart breaks.

Help me, save me… I try so hard, yet I know I should try harder and that there is much I could do but do not…

Have mercy on me, help me be a better instrument, a better servant and a better healer for those that come before me.

Save me from pride, from arrogance, and help me remember that I am broken among the broken.

Give me wisdom to discern what I can and cannot do, and what I must walk to and away from.

Lord, save me.

Amen.